# Saintly Lye

Людмила Николаевна Ансельм

Mother tells her daughter the story of her life and her attitude to religion.

SAINTLY LIE

Ludmila Anselm

Translated by Jim Clinton

Dedicated to my grandfather


CHARACTERS


MOTHER - Woman 40 years

DAUGHTER -Katya 14 years


The Stalinist era in Russia. A picture of Stalin is on the wall. It"s night. KATYA is kneeling by lamp light, bowing to the floor, and crossing herself. MOTHER enters, quietly closing the door. She stands stock still, resigned, watching her daughter pray. Finally she strides up to her daughter.


MOTHER

What are you doing?


KATYA

(frightened, jumping to her feet)

I... I was looking for a crayon. It dropped on the floor.


MOTHER

You were praying! I saw you crossing yourself!


KATYA

Why shouldn"t I pray?


MOTHER

It"s very... very dangerous ... and ... you are still too young and carefree to understand.


KATYA

I understand more than you think, Mama.


MOTHER

What if a neighbor should see you?


KATYA

So what? I could say I was practicing for a play.


MOTHER:

Where did you learn to pray?


KATYA:

Grandmother. She talked to me about prayers, about sins, while we baked cookies.


MOTHER

What prayers do you say?


KATYA

"Our Father whom art in Heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom one, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."


MOTHER

Does your friend Lucy know this prayer?


KATYA

I asked her once, but she said she had never heard it.


MOTHER

Why do you think that is?


KATYA

I don"t know. Maybe because she has no Grandmother and she doesn"t need to pray. She is not alone all the time. She has a brother. I am alone, and when it"s dark out I hear creaks and bumps. The house shakes. When I get afraid I say Grandmother"s prayers and cross myself. I forget my fear.


MOTHER

I wish I could change my shift at the hospital, but I have to work. You... you talk to God?


KATYA

I have to talk to somebody.


MOTHER

What do you talk to God about?


KATYA

My sins. I ask His advice. I tell Him about my fear.


MOTHER

And He answers you?


KATYA

Sometimes. It depends on his mood.


MOTHER

So! Katya, we have to live in this society. Soon you must be a Komsomol member.


KATYA

I know. Everybody has to be.


MOTHER

What will you say when they ask if you believe in God?

(Beat)

If they find out or see that you do believe in God you know they will throw you out of Komsomol. You will not be able to go to the university. You will only be able to work as Lucy"s mother works...


KATYA

I don"t care... I"m not afraid of them, because God will stand by me.

(Pause)


MOTHER

Katya, your Grandfather thought that God would stand by him, but God didn"t.


KATYA

Mama, tell me about him...


MOTHER

I was born in a little town named Kaluga. My father was a teacher.


KATYA

He was not a teacher! He was a priest!


MOTHER

He was a teacher!


KATYA

Grandmother told me the truth! You have never told me the truth!


(MOTHER slaps the KATYA.)


MOTHER

Don"t talk to me that way. I"m your mother!

KATYA

I hate you!

(Long pause)


MOTHER

Words... all words... just words... are the most dangerous thing in our life. I"m your mother! You must show me respect even if you think I"m only telling you half truths. (Pause) You don"t know how my life was... What I have endured...


KATYA

Your father was a priest!


MAMA

Katya, don"t speak so loudly. The neighbors could hear you. (Pause)

All right... I"ll tell you the truth... May be you"ll understand how my life was... All my life I have been afraid that somebody would find out that I"m the daughter of a priest!


KATYA

Mama, what happened to Grandfather?


MOTHER

I was just about your age. One night I didn"t want to go to bed and hid under the chair. There was a knock on the door. Papa opened it. There were three big men.


KATYA

Who were they?


MOTHER

NKVD, KGB... not important. He went away with them without even a jacket. I ran after him and gave him his jacket and piece of bread. He took the bread from my hands and there in the middle of the street. He made the sign of the cross on me. (Pause) I never saw him after that...


KATYA

But why did they take him?


MOTHER

He was a priest. Almost all priests were arrested, not just my father. We found out later that all the arrested priests were shot...


KATYA

Your father was shot!


MOTHER:

No one ever knew anything for sure.


KATYA

Did you try to find out about him?


MOTHER

No. We quickly moved away to Moscow.


KATYA

Why have you never told me this?

Как


MOTHER

I was afraid you would tell somebody about my father. (Pause) If the KGB had ever found out that I was the daughter of a priest, I would never have been able to go to the university, never would have been able to be a doctor, and never would have been able to support you and Grandmother. I"ve always been afraid for myself. Now I"m afraid for you... Can I trust you?


KATYA

I knew that my grandfather was a priest, but I didn"t say about him, even to Lucy.


MOTHER

Good.


KATYA

But, Mama, your identification book must have said that you were the daughter of a priest.


MOTHER

I burned my papers. I got a new identification book. With the new papers I could go to the university...


KATYA

You didn"t tell Grandmother that you burned it them?


MOTHER

Of course not! I was afraid, that she would tell somebody. Now you see why I"m afraid, and why I"m afraid for your future? Remember, your Grandfather was a teacher. Do you understand?


KATYA

Yes!


MOTHER

Please, repeat: my Grandfather was a teacher...


KATYA

My Grandfather was a teacher...


MOTHER

Where was your Grandfather a teacher?


KATYA

I don"t know where he lived...


MOTHER

Good! And what will you say to the Komsomol when they ask you if you believe in God?


KATYA (torn)

I do not believe in God!


MOTHER

Correct...


KATYA

Mama, at school they teach us to honor Comrade Stalin who led us in the Great War against Germany. But he ordered my grandfather to be shot.


MOTHER

(holding KATYA"s hand)

You have to do what is expected. But always try to know yourself. (Pause)

Now you see why we have to tell half truths?


KATYA

But Mama, what about God? Is it a sin to tell Him half truths?


MOTHER

(Crossing to KATYA, she kisses her forehead.)

We call this telling... a "Saintly Lie".


END OF PLAY