I sometimes try to talk to her,
  this girl in the portrait,
    wearing a light-blue dress,
which was, in fact, bright pink. 

It was my mom
   who has recently commissioned
     this portrait of mine -
to be painted from a photo.
  
The girl in the portrait 
   is supposed to be me,
but she's not.

There isn't even a facial simila-
   rity.
Only the silver scarlet bracelet looks 
  the way it is.
My mom brought it 
   from the Caucases
for me
   many years ago
when I was a young girl.

So... I sometimes try to talk to her
  wondering what her thoughts might be...

But she's cold and distant
  and never throws a bridge.

I actually think,
  she's quite beautiful
in her own way...

And even the amateurish manner
   of a Sunday painter,
in which she was created
  does not disturb me anymore.

What does disturb me
   and puzzles me to the core
is the fact
   that 32 years have passed
since the time 
  of the photo take -
Falun, Sweden.
 August, 1989...
  And now
   I'm older 
    than my mom
      back then...



June 9, 2021