My camera is broken...
  and so is my health.
I'm sitting on a swing...
  The clouds are floating pensively...
I cannot photograph them...
  Then a pen,
a tiny notebook
  will help,
will be of use...
  They are my friends...

I'm actually glad
   I'm not a famous po-
      et 
for I can live in peace...

Who are my readers?
  I don't know...
I've blocked all comments
  and all marks.
Or I can't write,
  can't think...

It's different
  with my works -
I am involved
  in International Art -
art groups and sites
  and Art Museums...

I have to check and give -
  it's time consuming -
take my word...

Although it's fun!
  It's fun!

However...
  I am so used to living in oblivion...
I rather like it...

But I have to go...

It's getting cold...

The swing is slightly moving...
  The clouds - grey and white -
are floating pensively
   in winter cotton skies,
so closed and so indifferent...

These clouds are my friends
  like images
and words...

The pains are unforgiving,
  but
I'm happy...
  for I am still alive...


Dec. 27, 2023,


                                    ***

My mind goes back and 
  back again
to different stages of my life...

I should have married
 the one man,
the only one
  who was indented for me...
Who is so close
  as if
we are connected 
  by the genetic code...

Then everything
   would have been different...
     And now it is all ruined...

Another stage...
  I could have stayed
in the United States
 and work for NDI
and then... who knows!

One more mistake -
 I should have taken my gold chance
to have a solo show at the O'Neil...
  Why didn't I go!!!
I was invited by George White
  who loved my exhibition at the ASTI
Gallery..., which is no more...
  and George is 88...
I didn't go... It was so stupid!!!
   I went to Normandy instead
to show my art,
  which was a blastment...

 Why haven't I done what I should have...!!!
Why have I done what I should've not...!!!

Now I am a legend
  at my page at fb...
But that is strange -
   that star life isn't me.
Like Marilyn Monro...
  who wondered in the film
"My week with Marilyn"
   why people leave her 
  as soon as they
find out
 she is not her...

No, no!
  That star life is not me...

My works of art
  are celebrating and enjoying
what's due
   to Those
who let me see them,
 Invisible and Flawless Guides...
I love them,
  oh, indeed!
Do they rejoice?
 They are so modest -
  never show a face,
but they insist that I should go on working
  and share...
I succumb
  to them...
   and I am grateful...
But... give me some strength!!!


Dec. 27, 2023